little lies scattered at her feet
by seemslikeaporno
Summary: I told you so. / Jade&Cat, Cat&Beck.


**little lies scattered at her feet**

**summary**: I told you so.  
**disclaimer**: Victorious isn't mine.

\\

He says, "I love you."

She blows bubbles in her chocolate milk.

\\

Cat Valentine likes to pretend that some days don't exist.

She somehow convinces herself they're dreams; just some strange concoction created by her vivid imagination.

Because there is no way that Beck Oliver told her he loved her.

There just isn't.

\\

She keeps wondering if she's a masochist.

Sometimes, when she and Jade are alone in her room, they kiss and touch and feel and it gets so hard that Cat can't see straight but she begs for it more and more and _more_ until Jade's fingernails tug her hair as they come.

Sometimes, Jade talks about Beck afterwards.

(Cat thinks that part hurts more than the hickeys on her hips.)

\\

"Sometimes I get scared that I like this better," Jade admits one day while she lies in between the sheets with her legs tangled among Cat's.

"What's wrong with liking this better?" Cat asks innocently, looking at Jade with big, brown eyes.

"I don't know," Jade answers, snorting, "Everything."

\\

She pretends that her conversation with Jade is a dream.

\\

She stops talking to Beck, though, just in case she accidentally says she loves him, too.

All the more reason for him to grab her by her wrist and yank her into the janitor's closet and kiss her furiously on the mouth.

She wonders if she still tastes like his girlfriend.

\\

"What do I taste like?" Cat asks Jade one day while sitting on the edge of her bed and plucking at a string from her quilt. Jade raises a pierced brow.

"Are you serious?" She asks, not moving from her lying-down position on Cat's bed, hair splayed out over her pillow. Cat nods her head but doesn't meet her gaze, and Jade shrugs her shoulders even if Cat isn't looking. "Like your lip gloss, mostly."

"Mostly?" Cat inquires, glancing at Jade.

"Sometimes you taste like peppermint. And sometimes…" Jade trails off, narrows her eyes, debating on whether or not to admit it, "Sometimes you taste like Beck, sort of."

Cat's breath hitches.

"Not in that sense, though. More like…you kiss _like_ him, sometimes. I don't know." Jade turns to look at the wall, embarrassed, "It's kind of like when he kisses me and…I feel like he doesn't really mean it." Jade closes her eyes, "Sounds pathetic, right?"

Cat hesitates, then murmurs, "Not really."

"I understand if you don't mean it," Jade adds after a moment, "Because you're not supposed to."

Cat doesn't answer.

\\

Beck pins her against a wall in the theatre and stares at her for a full minute before he sighs, his hair falling in front of his eyes.

"You give out mixed signals, you know," Beck says, frustrated, "You'll glance at me every ten seconds and then when I try to talk to you, you run off. Then we get in these positions and you look at me like you're confused, but you don't stop me when I kiss you." He pauses, shakes his head, and mutters, "I don't understand what's going on in your head."

Thank goodness, because her mind is screaming _Your girlfriend and I fuck a lot._

"I don't know what else to do," Cat whispers, her voice cracking and her eyes tearing up. She kisses him first, and he pushes his tongue down her throat and she hooks a leg around his waist and it's all history from there.

\\

She feels disgusting.

All the time.

When Beck touches her, she thinks about Jade. When Jade touches her, she thinks about Beck.

Beck&Jade's perfect relationship is fuckedupfuckedup_fuckedup_ and she's stuck right in the middle of it – or maybe she's the _cause_ of it.

Whatever it is, it makes her want to throw up.

\\

Twice, Jade fucks her the same day that Beck does.

The second time, it's terrifying because Jade murmurs, "You taste just like Beck," against her lips and then pulls away, a dark look flashing across her face. Cat feigns innocence and whimpers, tugging Jade back down by her hair because she knows she likes it.

Apparently, Jade forgets that she's supposed to be angry.

\\

"Doesn't Jade ever wonder where you are?" Cat asks on a Tuesday while her cheek is pressed into Beck's shoulder and she's against the theatre wall as they grind against each other.

"Probably," Beck answers, sucking a sore spot on her neck.

\\

Jade eyes the hickey for a long time when Cat arrives to school the next day.

This time, she's the one pulling her into a janitor's closet.

"What the hell is that from?" Jade asks, fire burning in her eyes.

Cat covers the hickey self-consciously and doesn't meet Jade's gaze. "M-My new boyfriend," she says, stammering. She's positive Jade knows she's lying.

"Oh, really? And who's your fucking boyfriend?" Jade demands, "Because I've never seen you with anyone."

"He goes to a different school," Cat says defensively, reaching for the door. Jade swats her hand away and shoves her into the wall, "Ow!" She gives Jade a hurt look, lifting up a hand in a futile threat to push the other girl back.

"You don't have a boyfriend," Jade growls, "Who are you kissing behind my back?"

Cat shoves Jade by the shoulders, "How is it not okay for me to be with someone else?" Cat asks, finally angry, "You're with Beck!"

Jade slams Cat against the wall and holds her there, "You knew that before we started this. It's different," Jade spits.

"It's _the same_," Cat answers lowly, "You're still with two people. I can be, too."

"Well, you _can't_ be with Beck," Jade says, her fingernails digging into Cat's skin, "You stay the fuck away from Beck." Jade pushes Cat once more as a warning and then leaves the closet without another word.

Cat stands still for a long time; then slides down to the floor and sobs.

\\

Cat knows that Beck knows that Jade knows.

They fuck again, anyways, because Beck doesn't know one thing that Jade and Cat know, and Cat doesn't feel like letting Jade have her way.

It's a fucked up cycle, but that's never stopped her before.

\\

Jade slaps her, hard.

Cat hits her back.

Then the bed is creaking underneath their weight and Cat bites the juncture of Jade's neck and shoulder and Jade claws at Cat's thighs and it's the dirtiest, angriest, sex they've ever had, but it makes Cat feel better than she ever has before.

When it's all over, Jade hisses, "I fucking hate you," against the shell of Cat's ear.

"Beck loves me," Cat whispers back.

\\

She doesn't know if Jade tells him or not, but Beck&Jade go out with a bang. Jade throws something at him and he almost pushes her but stops himself and walks away with his hands in his pockets.

Jade catches her arm and drags her away from the scene and into an empty hallway.

"Let me make this clear," she says coldly, gripping Cat's wrist even more tightly, "Beck still isn't yours. Don't fucking touch him."

"I'll do what I want," Cat answers evenly, "He's not yours. He hasn't been for a while."

"You'll regret it." Jade smirks, digs her fingernails into Cat's skin, breaking it. They kiss once – without tongue or passion or tension.

When Jade lets go of Cat's wrist, she can see the start of a hand-shaped bruise.

\\

"I love you," he says.

Only this time it's to Tori Fucking Vega.

\\

"You were right," Cat says, standing in the doorway of her own room. Jade is sitting on her bed in her school clothes, giving Cat a strange look, "I'm regretting it." Cat tries to smile and ends up crying.

Jade stays where she is, watching Cat with knowing eyes.

"I told you so."

\\

Cat likes to pretend that it was all a dream.

\\

**a/n**: ...lol crap i don't know what the hell this is. sorry it's all over the place and dark etc. i love you all for reading though, i really do, you guys are awesome. thanks to lovely valentina for giving me the strength and patience needed to finish.

_alternate ending_: beck goes gay for robbie and they frolick out in a field of flowers and run into the sunset with a gay pride rainbow overhead.


End file.
